Comparison is the thief of joy. Ever heard that? Well, it’s true my dear. For much of my life I fell into the sneaky dark pit of comparison at every turn, whether it be my beauty, brains or body. It literally stole so many moments from my life. Fast forward to 4 months ago when I said NO MORE, not me and not the lives that I will impact. I decided to enter the ultimate contest of Comparison, an NPC Bikini Competition.
I knew I had to do this because when doubt, shame, comparison, and feelings of inadequacy are left in the dark, they grow. It is when they are brought into the light where truth overcomes and brings healing…so I did it! But let’s first get a few things straight. I didn’t just say, “Hey this sounds like a good idea one day and step on stage the next day.” No, my friends, this took time, it took accountability, coaching, my tribe, prayer and A LOT of hard work.
You see, as a personal trainer, a woman who cares deeply about the health and appearance of her body, I was never happy with the way my body looked. And because of that, I was hitting a wall in my personal and professional life. It was coming from within because if you asked anyone else they would say I looked great. There was a giant to be conquered and I had no choice but to face it head on with me, all of me!
So this past Saturday I walked out on that stage proud of what my body looked like, proud of the hard work I put in and proud of where I can take it. Overall knowing that my confidence does not come from my circumstances or my appearance, but rather it comes from the supplier of my true identity, my Creator. And at the same time respecting the fact that there is a place that my body feels great at and honoring that.
Here’s the thing. People often misunderstand what it takes to face battles. We often judge by superficial markers and forget to explore the beauty and grit in the visceral areas. I am going to be real, it sucks, it’s a struggle and is not pretty most of the time. It takes grueling moments and some battle wounds along the way. And it’s also worth every moment….these truly are the moments where leaders and world changers are made.
Over the past 4 months, there were nights where all I wanted was a burrito, there were nights where I literally lost my “you know what,” and there were nights where I was so close to throwing in the towel. And each time I was presented with a choice…continue being beaten down by the lies of comparison as they dressed up in “well-deserved outlets” to keep me living in that same way of being OR stay the course and fight once and for all. I choose the latter because I have come to understand that the harder choice usually yields a far better return.
So back to the competition, I have never been as proud of myself as I was that day and I can’t wait for more moments like it. I learned a very important lesson, (well many, but one in particular) as I spent two days with tons of other beautiful women with amazing bodies, mirrors galore and medals to be won. I learned that true freedom happens when I CELEBRATE the calling of others and WALK IN MINE.
So my question for you, what is your giant? What is your barrier to the next level of your calling? Because if I am honest, if you keep playing small in life (like I was) it’s selfish. What are you willing to face head-on and do a little dirty work to conquer?
Let’s make a commitment to show up for our life, to honor the call on our life and share it with the world. There is only one of you and one of me and we NEED BOTH! Please share with me your battle and your truth…I am rooting for you, believing in you and standing right next to you in victory! Love you BEAUTIFUL!