I was driving on the highway on the way to my daughter’s four-month appointment. My mind was swirling; anticipating how she would scream when she got her shots and worrying if she had gained enough weight this month. After entertaining my anxiousness for a moment, I caught myself. This isn’t where I want my mind to live nor does it have to be my perception. Only the Lord can pull me out of the dark shadows that are cast upon my mind. Searching for truth, I began to pray.
Cruising down the highway at 65, proud that I was actually going to arrive on time, I met with God. Meeting with Him always looks different, but the outcome is the same; bringing peace, and renewing of my mind. This time it looked really different. The Lord took me to another place. I was in a sea of icebergs. It was cold, and I was alone there. I watched myself climb upon an iceberg, until it could no longer sustain me. I’d fall back into the icy water until the next one came along that I could climb upon again. I did this several times over with the end result being me falling back into the freezing water. Soon enough I saw a ship, the size of the Titanic and I felt the Lord speak to me, “climb up, climb into the boat.” When He said that, I felt drowned by peace. The icebergs were no longer my focus, instead it shifted my focus to the boat which brought hope. I snapped back out of the vision as a white car cruised by me. Their license plate caught my eye. It read “CLIMB UP.”
Reflecting on all of this spoke to so many facets of my life beyond the anticipation of the appointment. Too often I am finding my security only in the reality of what I can see. That’s when I am on the icebergs. However, the moment that even a glimpse of fear or a hint of worry drops in, I am back in the water. It’s the same with comparison, I am good for little bit, but then I compare myself to someone else and I fall in again. I jump back upon another iceberg with excitement, but then I don’t feel good enough… Do you see the pattern? These thought processes do not bring me hope. The icebergs only bring temporary security to destination nowhere. They compromise my self-worth and steal my value.
I need a hope that’s constant and consistent. No matter how hard I try, fear, worry, comparison, inadequacy will continue to break me over and over and over again if I allow my thoughts to live in those places. What do I need? My mind needs to be constantly renewed. That is my revelation. I need that boat. I need God. He is safe. He secures me. He sees value in me and does not compare me to anyone else. He placed me on the earth with purpose and greatness in which He has prepared just for me. Those facts are no different for you.
“For never before in story or rhyme (not even once up a time) has the world ever known a you, my friend, and it never will, not ever again…” On the Night You Were Born, Nancy Tillman
That climb up the boat is one step further from what shakes us and one step closer to becoming who God created us to be. Most importantly it brings us into deeper communion with The Lord. There is no greater anchor to our soul than finding ourselves in God. Only He can protect us. On that boat, the icebergs get trampled (unless it’s the Titanic 😉 ), but in all seriousness, nothing else matters except that we are on the boat. It’s a representation that we are with God. Everything else fades away when we are with him. Our swirling minds are calm, and the prison of comparison that we lock ourselves into is open. Fear has no place!
Spend some time in reflection: Where are you in your mind and thought patterns? Are you on an iceberg or on the boat or are you in the icy water just looking for something to grab onto? What causes you to fall back into the water? Is your mind in a place of constant renewal? If not, how do you get there? If so, how do you stay there? I pray you can see the boat and CLIMB UP.