All my single ladies…
First, before anyone gets their panties all up in a bunch, I ask one thing of you single ladies….will you hear me out for this blog? I honor and respect you all, so please hear me out. And second, I’m talking to myself just as much, if not more than any other single ladies.
We live in a time where we as females have walked through the “door of having a voice,” which is amazing and I am so, so, so for it! Now, I believe it’s time to rest in that. I believe now that we are “through that door,” (even though there may be “hallways” before we actually enter the room) it’s time for us as females to become females again. We have barged our way (rightly so) into having a voice, and now let’s have a feminine voice.
As a single lady myself, I have come to the realization that I have been leading with some masculine energy. Wait, what? Hold up my single ladies…let me explain. The “male energy/persona” is biologically asking to be respected. The “female energy/persona” is biologically asking to be cherished. This doesn’t mean the other can’t be respected or cherished. What it means is that opposites attract, so if I continue to lead in this way— being “boss babe,” trying to prove my ability, pursuing a man, trying to prove I can do it without him, etc, then the masculine man I WANT will never be attracted to me because I portray that I can do all of life on my own. It says, “I don’t need anyone.” Here’s the thing friends, WE ALL NEED PEOPLE TO MAKE THIS WORLD GO AROUND….THAT IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS, RATHER IT IS A SIGN OF WISDOM AND STRENGTH. So why would we think a romantic relationship would be any different?
You might be asking what if I run a company, I’m launching a business, or lead a bunch of male employees? To that I say, be amazing! Be the aggressive leader you are and follow it up with your femininity. AND THEN, when you leave the office, take that hat off and allow a man to cherish you, build a man up with your words and your praise (don’t try to be boss babe), stop trying to bench press more than him, and allow him to get lost in your eyes that say I need you (even though I am whole and complete without you, I still need you).
Here’s the thing— people often say “a man won’t control me. I am in control or I wear the pants in the relationship,” etc. In what world does that sound fun? What if we understood that in order to lead, a leader must have followers. If you want to look at who gives power, it’s actually the people who follow. They have the power. But even further, doesn’t it sound more fun to respect, build-up, and praise in return for safety, security, admiration, and the feeling of being adored and cherished? That sounds good to me and it sounds STRONG on both sides.
So I write this for the single ladies, (mostly ME!) How has that “boss babe” mentality been helping us so far? Are we seeking a strong man and saying with our actions, “we don’t need you?” News flash, a man wants to be needed and we want to be cherished! So how are we showing up daily, when we are dating, flirting? Are we blocking the very thing we desire by the sending the wrong message?
I don’t know everything (or close to it), nor do I know where you are at, but I do know I have been sending the very opposite message I ever intended to. What I do know is that I am a world-changer. I am wise, strong, smart, and a powerful woman in the business world. And I also know that my heart yearns to be cherished, adored and secure in the space of a strong, smart, and powerful man who leads, provides (beyond monetary needs) and protects. And even though I can do all of those things on my own, I know I was not created to spend all my energy in that way. I was created to be powerful while being part of that beautiful equation.
This is a BIG topic, I totally understand (and I do not take it lightly), however, I do know that it’s getting harder and harder for single ladies to find relationships they are looking for. So we must step back, look, and try something new. I would love to hear your thoughts beautiful single ladies!! Keep being strong and powerful. Just allow a man to have his rightful space in that as well. It’s not a “both/and” thing, it’s “how do opposites attract to move something forward with powerful momentum?!”
I’ll leave you with a quote from Beyonce’s SINGLE LADIES, “Pull me into your arms and tell me I am the one you want.” If that hits your heart in the right spot, ask yourself, how are you showing up today?