The New Tapes: When the old tapes just don’t make the cut

Current location: Dublin region, Ireland

Beverage of choice: 8 oz Flat white

 

It has currently been 6 months of living out of my black American Tourists bag, luging around too many books and layers for all weather conditions. It has also been a time in my life when I have been able to hug numerous friends and family, meet the new babies, dream again and attempt to slow down to discern what is next on the horizon. It’s transition. The unknown. It’s uncomfortable but it’s worth discovering the raw definition of NEW beginnings.

When you are in transition, you are asked the same questions over and over, as we all know so well. Some days I feel I am content with responding to the “What are you doing in life?” question with a simple…”I don’t know, but I’m learning to trust God deeper!”. On other days there is a small panic followed by a lack of enthusiasm as I try to fill in the blank to suppress my own unknowing.  It is these moments that help me to observe what is really happening deep within.

We are constantly changing and seeking things that are true or things that are counterfeit. Some of us change depending on our diets, how much we want transformation, what we read, what we listen to, what we watch, how we rest, what we are running from and/or towards. We are constantly changing whether for good or not so good and new ways of thinking are always possible.

I am finding that sometimes my speech and the speech of those I journey with don’t always reflect or mirror the change or NEW happening within. Maybe we haven’t stopped to realize the change and we respond in auto-pilot. Or maybe we keep playing old tapes, old speeches to the same questions when really something new is happening.

Is there a person you have known for some time and you almost know how they are going to answer certain questions or what song they are about to start singing because someone said that one word. It could be a family member, a best friend or a spouse. Are there times you hear them sell themselves short or answer a question in a way that doesn’t truly reflect who they are today? Maybe they shorten the response based on some sort of fear, or they hit an automated response that does the job but doesn’t do justice to who they are or who they are becoming.

And how about you? What questions do you keep answering on repeat about who you are or where you are in life that don’t align with the new that has been developing in you?

It may not seem like a big deal, but the danger is if we keep responding from places of old we are keeping the old patterns alive. If we stop, pause, and realize the wild beauty that is growing within and be honest with where we are in life…I believe we make room for the NEW to take root. We will respond with honesty and leave space for our communication to change as we speak with hope instead of blocking the transition from transforming us.

It’s a good thing to clear out the archives of our old responses and truly speak from the heart.  And sometimes that sounds like “I don’t know, but I am trusting God deeper” and sometimes it sounds like new vision, or confidence in yourself, or being real about your pain. It is in that place, where you can heal, grow, and clear the table to make room for the NEW. It’s time for new words and new responses. Who you are becoming is worth it!