• Menu
  • Skip to content

Before Header

  • Instagram

We Shall Find the Stars

Encouragement for Women Everywhere

  • Home
  • Blog
    • Healing
    • Infertility
    • Pain
    • Reflection
    • Thankfulness
  • About
  • Team
  • Home
  • Blog
    • Healing
    • Infertility
    • Pain
    • Reflection
    • Thankfulness
  • About
  • Team

Blog

You are here: Home / Blog
Self-Awareness: The Most Important Requirement of Self-Love

Self-Awareness: The Most Important Requirement of Self-Love

Sep 3, 2018 //  by Ashley Perry //  Leave a Comment

I Am. 

“Two of the most powerful words; for what you put after them shapes your reality.” 

When I was a child, I remember being intrigued by the story of Moses in the bible. His life was filled with adventure, scandal, and some pretty cool encounters with God. When God told Moses He would send him out to save His People, Moses asked, “well, who shall I say sent me”? And God replies, “I AM WHO I AM”.  The fact that God described Himself in all caps, definitely stuck out to me, but even more so, I was so impressed that He did not need to add anything after I AM. He was whole and complete just as is. Even now, I marvel at the majesty of who God is; He is all-encompassing, and there is no need to add or subtract from Him.

From a young age, we are taught how to effectively introduce ourselves to others. “Hi, I am Ashley”. We then fill in the blank with different cue words to describe ourselves. I am this or I am that. It is how we let others know who we are and what we are about.

Lately, I’ve done a lot of thinking about the importance of who I am inviting to the table, as it relates to my thoughts. What positive and/or negative thoughts do I allow to sit at the table with me as I go about my day? What are you allowing into your daily thoughts?

Have you ever done something, and then thought, “why am I so dumb”? Or if someone gives you a compliment, does your mind negate their comment, with “no, I am not pretty, or I am not intelligent or I am not strong”? Fill in the blank with whatever words you would use to describe yourself. How often are they positive and uplifting statements?

Several years ago, my mentor recommended that I create a personal proclamation. In this proclamation, she encouraged me to write down positive statements that were specifically true about me. This included positive statements I was struggling to believe about myself, and most importantly, the truth that God said about me. My list covered a range of descriptions, from body image, to skill sets to being “fearfully and wonderfully made” by God.

Now, I will be honest; it took a long time of diligently speaking the statements over myself every morning to materializing into my belief system. I had quite a bit of negative thinking and lies to combat. But when the truth finally settled in, that is when my viewpoint on myself, others, and God changed. The truth really will set you free….if you let it.

I am

Nowadays, whatever I put after an “I am” statement, I make every effort for it be a positive truth. Because words have power and they have a great impact on our mindset and viewpoints. So be kind to yourself. But also be real.

I am a big supporter of self-love. Creating a personal proclamation to daily speak over myself has lifted my self-image and self-worth by leaps and bounds. I highly recommend it to anyone.

But while self-love is very important, so is self-evaluation. Telling ourselves how good we are and all the good things about us, but never addressing the areas that could use some attention, does a disservice not only to us but others as well. Yes, love yourself and love yourself deeply. Speak the beautiful truth of who you are over yourself daily. But don’t skim over the parts that aren’t so pretty. Because there are and will be parts of you that are not pretty. And while those parts should never be shamed, they also should not be ignored.

Self-love requires self-awareness. Without it, the process of self-love is useless.  I encourage you to create your own personal proclamation to daily remind yourself of the beauty of who you are and all that you have to offer this world. But also, love yourself enough to be your very best. Which means looking at the areas that can be improved upon. Owning the truth of the goodness of who you are while being real about the areas that still require attention.

We are all on a journey towards our best, most true selves. Kindness, grace, and a healthy dose of constructive criticism can go a long way to get us there.

And when all else fails, remember, we are all God’s creation. Made in His Image. Let I AM shape your reality.

 

Category: Self Care

Life and the streets of Venice: The choice is yours

Life and the streets of Venice: The choice is yours

Aug 23, 2018 //  by Shanda Dodd //  Leave a Comment

I used to think that life was one giant highway going in a very specific direction. And if by chance you wandered off the highway, took the wrong exit, or stopped for a while at Waffle House, you inevitably had to find your way back to the highway and continue on the path that was laid out for your life. 

I don’t know where I got this idea from, it was just there deeply ingrained in my brain. My life had a predetermined path that I was supposed to live. If I followed all of God’s promptings, if I never lied, cheated, or made a bad decision, my life would play itself out in the straight line that it was supposed to follow. 

Somewhere in the middle of my college days, this thought process started to give way to something entirely different — choice! What a novel idea. I don’t know why it was so hard for me to realize that I had a choice in life, but strangely enough, it took me awhile. 

I remember having a deep conversation with one of my best friends, Levi*, about God’s will and free will and how they were similar and different, and how ultimately they go hand in hand. My mind was blown!

However, it wasn’t until a few years later when I was visiting Venice that I felt God drop a new picture into my head. Life is not a highway that we must always be on, life is like the streets of Venice. There are multiple different ways to get to where you’re going — some long, some short, some scenic, some drab, some with lots of people, and some pretty deserted. The best part is we get to choose our route!

I firmly believe that there are specific points in life to which God directs us. Sometimes it’s a place, a person, or even a calling. But I also believe He not only allows but often encourages us to choose how we get to those points. It is part of God’s character; He likes partnership, He likes to know what we think. There have definitely been times in my life when the choice was crystal clear, but more often than not, and the older I get, it seems like God is more excited to know what I’m feeling and thinking. 

Imagine feeding a baby. You don’t really ask them what they want to eat, you just know what is good for them so you prepare it. Imagine feeding a 4-year-old. You probably don’t ask them to plan dinner on their own, but you might ask them if they prefer pasta or pizza. Imagine feeding a 23-year-old. Weird, eh? You don’t feed a 23-year-old. You ask them what they want to eat. If they are in a new place you might advise them against a sketchy food truck, but in the end, the choice is theirs. At 23, they have been through the phases of being fed, picking out the best of two options, and they are now fully capable of making a choice and feeding themselves. 

This is a very basic example, but it resonates with me when I think of God and making choices. How tiring it must be for God if we never give our opinion, if we never put ourselves out there and try something new, if we simply wait to be fed. He gave us a brain for a reason!

One more disclaimer, I’m not discrediting that sometimes God is VERY clear. I have had those moments in my life and I know many other stories when God spoke and directed with precision. I’m also not ignoring the fact that sometimes there are obviously bad choices and we should use our wisdom, maturity, and common sense to veer aware from those. However, I am saying that I think more often than not, we have a choice. 

So what decisions lie before you in this season of life? Is God speaking clearly or is He asking you to speak up and share your thoughts with him? Which way do you want to go? The options await 🙂 

*Thank you, Levi, for many great conversations at 3 am over cups of tea after you completely annihilated me at Goldeneye.**

**Still one of the best video games ever made!

Category: Reflection

Authentic Community: Why you can’t live without it  (PART 1)

Authentic Community: Why you can’t live without it (PART 1)

Aug 16, 2018 //  by Tara Stephenson //  Leave a Comment

It was 2003 when the real meaning of community entered my life. I was off to university and couldn’t wait to be out of my parent’s house! I decided to live in these tiny rooms in a dorm surrounded by other young women from around the world. It was those four years that began to shape my understanding of community and the importance of finding like-minded people.  Ten years later, it’s not just a buzzword for a season, but essential to my personal dreams, growth, and quality of life. Some of this may be obvious, but I hope it reminds you how important YOU are in community.

 

Personal Dreams:

It may seem obvious that we need others around us, but I wonder how many of us realize that community is essential to our personal dreams. You as a person were made to commune. We were made to live among one another, encourage each other, tell stories of old, and create wild things.

Your life is much bigger than you and with that belief, as you realize you have something to share. If you think a dream starts with you and ends with you, it may be an escape from reality. Don’t get me wrong, I have wild dreams for rest that include a Mojito and a hammock on some remote tropical island, but our dreams are usually for people. Our dreams are in need of a network, someone to say ‘yes this is beautiful’ and someone to say ‘hey, how about trying this instead’. When we invite people to the table of our dreams, I believe they can grow better. And why not inspire others to live their dreams in the process?

 

Personal Growth:

An authentic community will want to see you grow. They aren’t satisfied with you believing lies about yourself. They thrive on vulnerability and learning how to handle conflict. They are there to hug you when you are down, pick up a tab when you are short on funds, and give you a sweater when you are cold. Real community sees when you just need a movie night or when it’s time to get out of your comfort zone and jump! On some occasions, we push each other out of our comfort nest to fly. This is all helping us grow and it’s those types of communities you can call on a minutes notice and know that they will have your back, no matter what. Even if you are not in proximity, you are able to have friends that will really tell you like it is. And obviously, there is no such thing as perfect community, but as one of my friends always reminds me; without a community learning to love one another better, you are left in isolation.

 

Quality of life:

Isolation and loneliness don’t produce life or fruit. You can even see in creation how everything is in relationship with one another (this could be another blog 🙂 We were made for relationship and friendship, with God and with man. We don’t have to wander far to see this to be true, yet we find so many people today that are finding it hard to “find community” (Part 2 will be about how to find it).

Simply put, in our hopes and efforts to find authentic community, it does start with us. How much are we wanting to grow, find people that truly know us, and improve our quality of life? Community brings joy and inspiration. It allows us to give of ourselves and receive from others. It brings joy and hope to the dark places. We can live without it but are we truly living? I find that my life is enriched and lovelier alongside those that love well.

 

I hope this blog reminds you of the why behind making or joining community. It can be easy for this to slide to the back-burner, but you are worth it. Who you are is beautiful near people. Your dreams are deepened. Your roots have the ability to grow and I hope you find that the quality of your life improves. You are a gift to community and I bless your search.

Category: Community

The Art of Active Waiting: Trust and Show Up For Life

The Art of Active Waiting: Trust and Show Up For Life

Aug 9, 2018 //  by Shanda Dodd //  Leave a Comment

I’m in a season of waiting. I have plans that I’m attempting to make happen, but I also know plans take time. In this process, I am realizing more and more that waiting isn’t just a passive act, rather it requires a fair share of action as well. It is a fine balance that I am learning to navigate each day — the balance of trust and responsibility. I fully trust that God has good plans for me, but I also know that I have a part to play in it all. 

It is a funny thing to balance and the only way I know how to do it is to wake up every morning and ask God what today is supposed to look like. Sometimes it lines up with my plans and sometimes it is completely different than what I was expecting or what I thought was needed for the day. I’m constantly being surprised.

During this time of waiting, It is evident that I don’t know all the details of my life, but I can rest assured that God does! I know what options lay before me and what they appear to be, but God knows the ins and outs. I know what a job looks like on paper, but God knows how it is going to make me feel at the end of a 40 hour work week. I know the potential that lies within me and the desires I have, but God knows how my passions will unfold. 

There have been a few times in life when I strongly felt God tell me to sit down and wait on Him to make something happen, but more often than not, my life has been a partnership with God. I am called to show up to my life ready to act. God wants to know what I think, which passions are pulling at my heartstrings, and what opportunities make me smile. He wants me to start moving and trust that He is guiding me along the way.

Each day I am choosing to trust God, but it can still be easy to let worry weasel its way into the equation… What if I don’t hear God clearly? What if I miss an opportunity? What if my plans don’t work out? What if my plans do work out and I’m not happy? What will people think if I don’t succeed? Why do I even care what people think? The list goes on. 

Sometimes it feels like worry is the only action we have, but worry is a pretty pointless act. I think Baz Luhrmann and Matthew sum it up quite well…

“Don’t worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubblegum.” 

-The Sunscreen Song* 

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” 

-Matthew 6:34

There really is no point in worrying. So what actions are left? Trust and show up for life, even in a time of waiting. It is my part to actively trust God and to step forward the best I know how in wisdom and faith. 

What are you waiting on right now? Is God asking you to sit back and let Him work or He is wanting to partner with you and encouraging you to make the first move? If it is the latter, move forward with confidence, trusting God, and not allowing worry to be part of the equation.

*I highly recommend listening to this! I’ve listened to it numerous time and it doesn’t get old. 

Category: Waiting

In the Midst of Busyness

In the Midst of Busyness

Aug 6, 2018 //  by Becky McConnell //  3 Comments

August hits the calendar and both students and teachers alike begin to sense the dread of summer coming to a close, yet soon enough it turns to excitement as a new school year comes up on the horizon.

Almost 8 years ago now I was about to begin my first year of teaching! I was super excited to be teaching Spanish to a bunch of middle schoolers. In most seasons of life, transition can be a bit overwhelming, but this one was quite joy-filled. It was right where I needed to be, and made my heart come alive! (#nerdville) 😉 My energy for it probably equated to that of an average seventh grader. Although I loved it, life got very busy, very quickly.

As if my days weren’t busy enough, rookie teachers have the ‘privilege’ of attending a bunch of first-year teacher meetings.  Despite having good intent, I couldn’t not think of the stack of papers I could be grading, the plans that needed to be prepped and emails that awaited a response. There was one meeting however that made such an impact on me; the one where second-year teachers came to give advice to us ‘Rookies.’ It was there that the greatest advice was given to me.

The advice: You have to unplug at some point. There is always something you could be working on and need to do. And yes, sometimes that’s just how it is and you have to push through the mountains of work in order for tomorrow to run smoothly, but BE SURE TAKE TIME TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF. No matter how much work there is to do, you make that activity a priority, even if it’s just for an hour here and there.

How those words set me free! I needed to release myself from the strive and the craziness. I quickly joined and prioritized a workout group that met 3 times a week for an hour. It was my sanity and saving grace. I looked forward to those days as they allowed me to invest in me and do something for myself. Long after that year ended I continued to apply that advice to my life.

Here I am now, currently a stay at home mama…  I was recently reminded of those words and realized that all my time was invested in being a wife and a mama and somewhere in there attempting to keep up with the dishes and chores. Genuinely though, I’m loving this season just as I did my teaching days. There’s a lot in common with those early teaching days: the work never ends and when you’re caught up with one thing, there’s another. Upon realization of that, I knew I needed to come back to those words… BE SURE TAKE TIME TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF.  

Since then I committed back to my workouts and prioritizing them into my daily routine. It’s just 30 minutes a day, but allows me to invest in myself and gives me a goal to work towards.

This isn’t a plug for working out, but it is a plug for you to find something you enjoy doing and creating time in the midst of life’s busy-ness to prioritize and make time to do it.  It may seem as though there is zero time left in our days to do this, but it’s not about needing more time, but about reordering our priorities. There will always be time in your day for what you prioritize and I guarantee you, taking a bit of time to invest in yourself will give you a breath of fresh air and allow you to put your best foot forward in the obligations life has for you.

Category: Reflection

5 Myths of IVF

5 Myths of IVF

Jul 30, 2018 //  by Di Kaemingk //  Leave a Comment

On July 25, 1978 Louise Brown, the first IVF baby was born in Great Britain. Since then, more than 8 million babies have been born worldwide via IVF. 

IVF is the process of combining a woman’s eggs with a man’s sperm in a lab, growing that embryo for 3-5 days, and then inserting it back into the woman’s uterus. 

1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility and with some medical conditions, IVF is the only way to conceive a child. Many people don’t understand IVF, so I’m here to debunk 5 myths of IVF and tell you what really happens.

 

1. Belief: It’s just a physical procedure 

Truth: It’s also an emotional procedure 

While this is a medical procedure, the emotional and mental part of IVF is worse in my opinion. First off, you’re mixing medications and then injecting them into yourself several times per day.  For many women, the additional hormones can take them on an emotional rollercoaster. There’s also added pressure, as many couples can only afford one cycle and this is their last chance at having a child naturally.

 

2. Belief: Infertility is not a medical condition 

Truth: Most infertility cases stem from a medical issue with the reproductive system 

In 2017, the World Health Organization officially recognized infertility as a disease. Many women who can’t conceive have an underlying medical condition like endometriosis, polycystic ovary syndrome, blocked tubes, or an irregular uterus.

 

3. Belief: It’s always an issue with the woman 

Truth: 40-50% of men have male factor infertility 

Men can exhibit one or a combination of low sperm concentration, poor sperm motility (movement), or abnormal morphology (shape). This can cause the egg to not be fertilized in the woman’s body and there is an IVF component called ICSI, where one sperm is directly inserted into one egg to help overcome this.

 

4. Belief: Insurance covers the cost 

Truth: Only 13 states have mandated infertility coverage

The average cost of an IVF cycle is $15,000 and can go up to $25,000 or $30,000 depending on the type of treatment needed. Many women will need more than one cycle to conceive one child, and will undergo additional cycles for their second and third child. While some insurance companies will cover tests related to the diagnosis, the treatments are not covered in America. 13 states mandate that companies over 50 offer infertility coverage, but that doesn’t necessarily mean IVF.

 

5. Belief: IVF always works 

Truth: The average success rate is 39.6% 

While IVF is the best chance for couples with infertility challenges to conceive (besides a miracle), the average cycle per IVF transfer is only 39.6%. That number drops to 11.5% for women over 40. Imagine spending $15,000, injecting yourself with medications for weeks, undergoing surgery, and then finding out it didn’t work.

Category: Infertility

Choose Who’s Coming to Dinner

Choose Who’s Coming to Dinner

Jul 24, 2018 //  by Tara Stephenson //  3 Comments

Have you ever found yourself assigned to the most random table at a wedding reception? You walk up to the seating chart (probably listed on a chalkboard) with all your friends and find out you’re seated halfway across the room. Instead of being next to your companions, you’re sitting next to Aunt Judy ‘the wino’, a socially unaware cousin, Mike, and a newlywed couple that is still color-coordinating their dress and tie.

This situation is a case of the friend table being maxed out and the bride and groom needing someone to sit at the “random” table. They chose you knowing you would be the one to offer up some banter and conversation with each person. They were right.

It’s through this picture that we realize we don’t always get the freedom to choose who we are around or who is seated at our table. And then there are other parts of life in which we have complete freedom to say who we want near us and who to keep at bay.

Let me take this one step further. Let us step out of the physical and into our minds. Think of all the different voices that we hear throughout the day. I am not talking about being schizophrenic, but the things we hear that influence us or help us make decisions or shape how we perceive something or someone.

        

Imagine a space with a long wooden dining table set in preparation for the guests to arrive. You are seated at the head of the table and you have the freedom to invite whomever you want. Those seated at this table are going to help you understand your thoughts, assist you in making decisions, get lost in imagination, help you overcome hard moments, etc. Unlike the reception table where you were ‘stuck’ for 2 hours chatting to Aunt Judy about her wine-of-the-month club, at this table you have a choice. You don’t have to put up with the randomness and you can choose to have Wisdom as the guest of honor.

I find that this extravagant table in my mind often has guests that shouldn’t be allowed to be an active part of the conversation. For example, when I am waking up in the morning, I start thinking about my day and what needs to get done. It is in that moment, that my guest Rest or Calmness can have a moment to shine. But often I hear Negative speak up… ”Ahhh ummm, seems like you have too much planned. Good luck getting that done.” Or Worry… “Ooo, I wonder what they will think if you do that.” Or Striving… “Well before you take a break, make sure you check this box. Then you’ll be ahead and you’ll have earned the rest.”

It’s all these guests that have such easy access to sway decisions and affect how we perceive ourselves, God and one another. They have power because we have given them power. We let them sit too close to us, when in reality, they need to get up from the table because they are not welcome. Any guest that is not there to help produce fruit in your thoughts is not welcome to hang around. They are passersby.

The subconscious can be a mystery and sometimes these characters are playing a huge role and we don’t even know it. I recently have become more aware of my thoughts, who is seated at my table, and who keeps interrupting. When Patience, Joy, Hope, Wisdom, Rest are close, no matter the circumstance or worry things begin to change. Fear has to leave, Paranoia flees, and then Truth comes back, Grace is extended to the person beside me, and even Love is extended to myself.

A simple way to identify the key players is to pay attention to your thoughts. Sounds easy but we often let things slip and become lazy in our thinking. This allows the guests to play musical chairs and inch by inch get closer to a place of influence.  When I start to feel anxious or worried, I take a moment. I breathe. I invite God into the situation and ask Him to bring perspective and say who I want seated with me. Grace come. New Perspective come. Wisdom make your way. When I do this, I physically become lighter and the critic is forced to leave the table. I am left with sound judgment and Hope whispering into my ear “It’s going to be ok. This will pass. You’re not alone.”

The freedom and tools we have to rewire our minds and develop healthy patterns of thinking amazes me. We are not enslaved by our old ways of thinking. If you find yourself feeling like a victim, in many cases, those are voices that are not talking about who you really are. Those are the kind of voices you are not going to invite over for a dinner party. I hope you begin to see that you are not a slave or stuck with the table that you have created. The table can change. There is freedom. Who you include at your table changes the conversation and creates new habits that are full of healthy words. It takes time and that is ok. But it can start today! Today, when you wake up and while you read this, I hope you can sense a lightness and decide to which guests it is time to say ‘hit the road’ and to which guests you give a big welcome.

Category: Reflection

Sitting With Grief

Sitting With Grief

Jul 23, 2018 //  by Jen Perrine //  1 Comment

 

We shake with joy, we shake with grief.

What a time they have, these two

Housed as they are in the same body.   -Mary Oliver

When I read this excerpt from a favorite poet, I was reminded of a time these two feelings were very much housed in my body. A time when grief and joy were so intertwined, there didn’t seem enough room for them to coexist. I felt both life and death pulsating in my heart and yet I needed to embrace both.

My husband and I always imagined having two children. It just seemed to make sense to us and all the dreams we held for our family. At first, we didn’t have any vision of boy or girl and truly didn’t sway one way or the other. However, as time went on, we felt as if God was telling us through many avenues that we would have a girl and then a little boy.

Well, 7 years passed and we now have three little girls whom we could not imagine our lives without. After our Bella came, we naturally assumed our little boy would follow. At the next ultrasound, “It’s a girl” was announced. And a few years later, another little girl filled our womb. After that last ultrasound, I felt the ground crumbling beneath me. It felt as if I had lost the compass of his voice and I was aimless. I had just witnessed the miracle of life inside of me yet felt death all around me. The life of a little girl was realized yet it felt as though I experienced the miscarriage of a promise. Where was our little boy? When did I lose the ability to hear his voice?

After those two ultrasounds were some of the hardest moments I have experienced. It was a type of complex grief I didn’t know how to navigate. I should hold joy yet I felt sadness. I should be grateful yet I felt disappointment. I even had to sit with a friend struggling with infertility and try to tell her my story without feeling overcome by shame. I had no words for my grief, and as it didn’t seem like an “acceptable grief” I also spoke few.

When held in the grips of grief, at times others offer little solace. Room is not afforded to make sense of our own loss. The process of embracing loss is often stunted by humble words of God’s control or His power to turn the bad for good. Words can contain truth yet hold little comfort in the moment. So often when we experience discomfort, we want to rush others’ process. But when we shortcut grief, we forfeit the depths of joy to follow its journey. Sitting with others through the grief is both a struggle and an honor. It is a struggle when the depths of grief seem so fragile.  I heavily rely on the Holy Spirit to guide me when listening to another’s story as a counselor and friend. It is an honor because the place of vulnerability at the heart of grief is sacred. It holds the promise of joy when all the person sees is fear and sadness.

So many tried to comfort me in that season, but when the depth of my fear was that I had lost His voice, I knew it was His voice I needed to hear to pull me out. I harbored lies that He no longer trusted me and manipulated me into having three children with the empty promise of a son. That fear and pain needed to be uprooted but with tenderness. In the midst of my pain, God asked me: “Jen, when do you take freedom away from your children?” I responded, “When the cost is too high.” His tender words: “Jen, Wren River (our third daughter) not in this world was too high a cost.” At that moment, acceptance washed over me. Fear dissipated. The lies slinked away with the darkness that had seemed to loom over me. I chose to walk the path of grief, and I stumbled upon stones of joy. Joy came as I gave way to grief’s journey.

The moments of grief still come over the words I thought I heard. I still wonder if the miscarriage I had was our little boy. I question the feeling that our quiver is full but the promise remains empty. But the lasting peace of His words is still so real. He spoke when my heart was postured to listen. He sat with me in the pain until I was ready. He waited to speak truth until I could be comforted by it. Beauty cannot rise from ashes if  blown away with empty breath.

Learn to sit with people in their pain. Be slow to speak and eager to listen. Allow the pain to wash over them in the safety of embrace. Make space for the freedom to put words to the loss, a space to question without the fear of appearing wayward. Hold the hope of better days and trust joy will come, but don’t allow that to stunt their time of grief. Be still and wait until He speaks. Only He knows the truth that holds their comfort.  Only He knows the path ahead.

 

 

 

 

Category: Grief, Pain, Reflection

Home Is Where You Park It

Home Is Where You Park It

Jul 19, 2018 //  by Di Kaemingk //  Leave a Comment

Over the last 10 years, I have lived in 10 different homes/apartments, traveled to over 30 countries (spending 1-4 weeks in each), and two RV’s (spending 1-14 nights in each RV park). I’ve had “permanent” residences in 5 states and have slept in more hotels and friend’s couches than I can count. And this was all after college.

So, the concept of home to me is a little foreign.

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about what home means and if I can even have “home” because of my traveling lifestyle. Many people would define it as the city/town/house where they grew-up or a physical dwelling place. Others would say it’s metaphorical, like “home is wherever I am.” Still, some would say it’s with a person or place.

A Life is Good T-shirt says, “home is where you park it.” I think that sums up my life right now. That I must create home where I am and that even goes beyond my RV. Home must be a place that’s safe and where I’m free to be myself and express myself. Where I can work out my issues and define my ideals. It’s an identity of belonging somewhere or with someone.

I used to think that I could be a child of the world and that home wasn’t important. That I didn’t need the concept of home or a physical place. And while I do think it’s possible to travel and still have a sense of home, I think it means you must be intentional about creating it. I don’t think it’s always a physical place, but home is what you carry around inside of you.

Pico Iyer gives a great Ted Talk about the concept of home. He says “Movement is a fantastic privilege, and it allows us to do so much that our grandparents could never have dreamed of doing. But movement, ultimately, only has a meaning if you have a home to go back to.”

https://www.ted.com/talks/pico_iyer_where_is_home/transcript?referrer=playlist-what_is_home

It’s important to have a place of rest, center, and home. A place to constantly go back to when you feel like you’re losing your way. A place where you can be still and reflect and feel grounded. Even if it’s not a physical location.

So, what is home to you? Do you have a sense of home? Is that important to you? Leave a note in the comments!

 

Category: Reflection

Say It Out Loud

Say It Out Loud

Jul 15, 2018 //  by Shanda Dodd //  Leave a Comment

Recently, I was coming through immigration into Dublin, Ireland, and spent a hefty amount of time answering questions at the border. You see, my life doesn’t really make sense. I’m an American, but born in Norway… a missionary/non-profit worker/artist who has been living in Spain for 8 years and originally got there on a retirement visa… but now I’m trying to move to Ireland, researching jobs, and visiting friends for the summer… and I have less than $300 to my name for the remainder of the month. I don’t live a ‘typical’ life and I don’t look like your ‘typical’ tourist. 

This was not my first time being questioned at a border. I am well trained in what to say and how to word my situation so it can be best understood. However, I surprised myself this time. When asked what I would be doing over the next six weeks and what my days would look like, I responded: “I’ll be working on some writing; I write blogs.” A) I know better than to mention anything about working in a foreign country (This can lead to a lot of questions to make sure you’re not working illegally) and B) Since when did volunteering to write blogs once a month become official work that I tell to customs officers? 

A few hours later, after settling into my cozy Airbnb, I sat down to write this blog. There is always a frenzied conversation in my head when I sit down to write… What do I want to say? What do people need to hear? What has already been said? Does anyone even read these? Tonight, while pondering all those questions, my answer at the Irish border popped into my head… “I write blogs”… the answer had come completely by accident, but on reflection, it hit me in a profound way. 

I want to be a writer in some sort of capacity. I’ve dabbled in copy editing, done a smattering of poetry, and even talked about writing a book. Back in the summer of 2015, I took three weeks of intentional time to start my book and I loved it. I have yet to write more for my book since then, even though I occasionally look over the first few chapters and get super excited again. There has been a block in my mind about writing that has stopped me from moving forward into my dream of becoming a writer.

To be honest, I sometimes doubt whether I have the skill, style, and message to be a great writer. Those thoughts have created a block, but unbeknownst to me, writing these blogs has been a breakthrough in my subconscious. I don’t know when it changed, but I’m now calling myself a writer in my mind. In the past, I would say I’m an artist, a creative, and maybe add on that I like writing, but I don’t recall ever saying I was a writer. And then, under mild interrogation, it slipped out to a ginger customs agent who was trying to piece together the confusing story that is my life… “I’ll be working on some writing; I write blogs.” A clear and definitive proclamation that I write. I am a writer. 

They say that the battle is 90% between our ears. They say practice makes perfect. They say it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert. They say a lot of things. But I think in these cases they were right. The battle has been in my head. A battle of doubt and insecurity. But with a little practice, like writing these blogs, I’ve begun to believe in myself more. I am nowhere near the 10,000 hours supposedly needed to become an expert, but I’m on my way. 

This is a small revelation, but I think a powerful one if we allow it to transform us. What do you love? What do you want to be good at? Start practicing it NOW and begin taking steps forward. It might be a poco a poco journey, but they say every bit counts, eh? 

For me, it took committing to this blog, something I wasn’t sure I had time for or even 100% sure I wanted to do, to begin practicing what I love. And as fate would have, or more likely God’s grand plan, with each blog I have broken through bits of my fears and worries. I am learning that I have a message, the skills needed, and that my style is developing more and more with each word I write. 

What can you do to begin wearing down that 90% battle in your mind? Is there something you can begin practicing to help you move forward in your dreams? Try saying yes and see what unfolds. Say it out loud. Your dreams are waiting!

Category: Reflection

Next Page »

Copyright © 2022 We Shall Find the Stars · All Rights Reserved · Powered by Mai Theme